Recently, I have been loving the song "Home" by Phillip Phillips and listening to it at any chance I can get. It reminds me so much of what God does for us and what we can do for others. In particular, it makes me really think about the journey AJ and I have been on since we made the decision to start a family. Never did we think we would have the struggles, pain and desperation we experienced for almost the past five years, but never did we know that God would give us such a powerful gift of grace to get to the point we are at today. We did get lost and we did battle with so much fear of the "what-ifs" to the point where tears would flow just going to the mall seeing families together. But GOD. God always found us right where we were and picked us up, loved on us and encouraged us with scripture, songs, friends and family. Recently, my breath has been taken away by how God gently urges us on and unveils all that He has in store for us as long as we simply raise our eyes to Him. We don't even need to utter a word, He knows the help we need and that's exactly what He did for us! What an amazing gift!
AJ and I got married in 2006 in a beautiful May wedding surrounded by our family and friends.
After two years of being married, traveling and having a great time being newly weds we decided to start trying to have a family.
Month after month went by and I began to panic knowing that there was a chance we may not got pregnant due issues AJ had. We began the whole testing, doctors, testing, blood work, testing...we were told chances were very very slim we could naturally get pregnant. I pretended like the news didn't bother me and we went on our way trying. We prayed, stood on scripture and sought wisdom. We started the IVF process, but never had peace about it and we knew God was telling us to not follow through with it. We obeyed and continued trying. I watched friends and family start their families and then add again to their families all the while trying to just get pregnant. There were sooooo many low points during that time between ending IVF and now that ONLY BY GOD's GRACE and MERCY I am writing this with joy and peace in my heart. The ache and grief of every month seeing your dream not coming true and not understanding why was more than we could bear, but thank you Jesus you did that for us.
The hardest time of infertility was in the beginning of this year. We were coming up on our four year mark of trying and I was tired, AJ was tired (he had been through so much for us) and I felt the most hopeless ever. Then God reminded me of this scripture : " You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’” 2 Chronicles 20:17. AJ and I realized we needed to take a step back and be quiet before the Lord and really listen. What we heard was something we had known all along, we just thought it was "Plan B"..it was our "Plan B" but it was God's Plan A....adoption.
Adoption had been in our hearts since before we were married and was one of the qualities we loved about each other. We just thought we (well, me especially) would have bio children first and then adopt. BUT GOD. He has had this beautiful, well designed plan waiting for us we just needed to be still before Him, trust what we were asked to do and take a step of faith. That's exactly what we did and are doing. The moment we took the first step on the path God set before us, a peace that passed all understanding washed over the both of us and we knew...this is Plan A. It's not a fallback plan, it's not a "just in case" plan, it's what our heavenly Father designed for us with our best in mind!
We are adopting from the China program through America World Adoption and are almost done with our homestudy. We plan on adopting special needs children and plan on adopting more than one , God willing. We are thrilled and are honored God called us to do this. Adopting is an amazing experience but EXPENSIVE. We are starting this blog to not only capture every moment of this journey but to also encourage those who read this blog to donate toward costs of our adoption (there is a Paypal Donate button at the top of this blog). The typical international adoption for China is around $30,000 and we will probably need more than that because we are believing for more than one child. We are humbled by the outpouring of support, love and prayers everyone has provide for us and we appreciate it more than words can express! If you cannot donate monetarily, we ask you take some of your time and pray for us throughout this process.
God is so good and we are blessed...
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
~Phillip Phillips
